Oh, the Merseyrail map. My secret love, my secret nemesis. It gives me happiness and frustration in equal parts.
Last time I saw it the Merseyrail map was in a compromised state. Lime Street's closure meant things were imperfect, in so many ways. Now the whole network's open the map's been reissued.
But wait! What is this magic, mystical form at the centre of the map?
It's a loop. A proper loop. After all these years the Merseyrail map has finally decided to show the Loop Line as a circle. It's the only circle on the map and it's magnificent. That's what I like to see. Not a misshapen circle. Not a weird polygon. And certainly not, not ever, not for a million pounds, not a FUCKING SQUARE.
I was ecstatic to see the above map at Birkenhead Park earlier. I was overjoyed. It made my day. And then I met up for a pint with Robert, and he widdled all over my happiness.
Computer: ZOOM AND ENHANCE.
The split doesn't match up with the loop properly. It's clunky. It's alright from a distance, so long as you just get a quick glimpse, but the minute you look closer you see the join. Robert spotted it straight away and he took great delight in showing it to me. My perfect Merseyrail map was ruined.
Why would you do that? Presumably Merseytravel and Merseyrail employ professional designers. People with graphical qualifications. And they're turning out maps that don't even match up.
It sickens me. It sickens me to my very stomach.