Friday, 21 February 2014

My Adoring Fans

Last autumn, in a thoroughly bizarre moment in my life, I appeared in the Guardian travel section.  I was mildly (ludicrously) pleased.  I prepared a little post for anyone who came rushing over to the blog following my appearance on one of the most popular newspaper websites on the globe.

No-one came. 

Or at least, that was how it seemed at first.  In the months since I've noticed a sudden upswing in people leaving comments that flatter, compliment and frankly gush.  It's been an absolute joy reading these adoring posts, and I'd love to share them with you now and ask: why do my regular readers never write anything quite so lovely?

For example, this correspondent from January:

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Let's be honest: a command of the English language is deeply overrated.  Not sure why she mentioned her boobs at the end.  Ah well.

Nice post. I was checking continuously this blog and I am impressed! Very useful information specially the last part :) I care for such information a lot. I was looking for this certain info for a long time. Thank you and good luck. My web site: serwis klimatyzacja
 
Hmmm.  That one may have been spam.  I'm sure this one is genuine, though:

Hi there it's me, I am also visiting this website daily, this web site is really fastidious and the people are in fact sharing fastidious thoughts. Look into my web page ... Pregnancy Miracle Review
 
I'm not often described as "fastidious".  Though you should really leave your name, Anonymous correspondent, rather than just saying "Hi there it's me".  
 
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Wait, "fantastic beat"?  I know how I dance.  I do not have a "fantastic beat".  I think you may be another spambot, Valentine's correspondent.  I'm starting to feel a little let down.  I need to read another compliment, quick:
 
Many thanks for the post.I like your writing style and I’m trying to begin a blog myself, I think I may read thru all your posts for some recommendations! Thank you once more. Visit my web-site vigrx plus
 
You were doing so well, and then you slipped in that little plug for your erectile dysfunction products at the end and spoiled it.  Doesn't anyone have anything nice they want to say?
 
Hey! I'm at work surfing around your blog from my new apple iphone! Just wanted to say I love reading your blog and look forward to all your posts! Keep up the fantastic work!
 
Aw, shucks.  Thanks.  Anything else to add?
 
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Oh.  I feel so cheap.
 
Now I'm really depressed.  One last leap into the comments section for some words of comfort:
 
Fantastic goods from you, man. I've understand your stuff previous to and you are just extremely wonderful. I actually like what you've acquired here, certainly like what you are saying and the way in which you say it.
 
That's more like it.
 
You make it enjoyable and you still care for to keep it sensible. I cant wait to read much more from you.
 
I do my best, you flatterer.
 
This is really a terrific web site.

Aren't you lovely?

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Bastard. 

7 comments:

Flaming Nora said...

I like sprouts.

tommy166 said...

Are you the only one that can write in English??

Scott Willison said...

Yes. Yes I am.

Bob said...

And yet if they come bearing Merseyrail flip flops, you're there like a shot

Andrew Howe said...

Your blog is fab Scott. I enjoy reading it. It started as a Merseyrail blog, has extended to the North, keep going, really. I think your writing style is really excellent. I guess travel writers (Stuart Maconie, Michael Palin to name a couple of the best) like to take the reader on a journey with them, be part of it, and get this over in words, I think you do that just as well. I'm sure you have a great book that can be derived from all of your travels, however.....in the meantime, keep going.
.....And the last station on the Northern Rail network on this journey......the best structure on the uk railway network?.......you got to keep it till last......;-) keep up the great work :))

Dolemite said...

Generally, I hate blogs and the people behind them, but yours is genuinely entertaining. Also, it has a point, which is rare for most blogs these days. And I’m not just saying that because I’m your brother. Though family or not, you probably don’t want the likes of me reading your efforts as I’m a seasoned sinner who regularly rests his feet on train seats. I also sit in First Class with a standard ticket and flat out refuse to pay the extra fare when confronted. Though I feel my actions are justified as I’m charged FIVE HUNDRED POUNDS A MONTH to travel from Luton to London, which is nothing short of disgusting. Don’t get me started. Keep up the good work though.

Anonymous said...

More Northern tarting please!