It's a question that's torn British society asunder for literally centuries: which is better, Oxford or Cambridge? There has never been a definitive answer to this question... UNTIL NOW. Yes, thanks to a couple of mini breaks I took this year, I am able to once and for all settle this question, through the twin powers of science and railway stations. These are the only true metrics that should be used to decide anything. I will run you through my workings before I reach a conclusion, breaking it down into a series of extremely valid categorisations:
1. NEWISH RAILWAY STATION THAT IS ON THE OUTSKIRTS OF TOWN
Obviously I didn't go to Oxbridge (Edge Hill massive, represent). I did actually get invited to my Sixth Form College's Oxbridge preparation class; a teacher took me aside and advised me to attend it at lunchtime, because he thought I had the potential. I went to one session and I was terrified. It wasn't about simply being clever - you also had to be a certain kind of person, act a certain way in interviews, have a varied and interesting life outside of your studies. I fled the class and put any thought of attending out of my head, which was lucky considering (a) I then comprehensively cocked up my A-Levels and (b) I wouldn't have been able to afford a single term there. And this was when you still got grants!