Sunday, 25 May 2025

Estate of Play

 

One positive of this hobby ("hobby") is you never know what you're going to get.  On arrival, a station can seem like any other.  Long platforms, a bridge, wires whistling overhead.  In the West Midlands, the street furniture painted in a corporate orange.  Then you wander outside and you find a kangaroo on the ticket office.

I was in Canley, on the outskirts of Coventry, and the kangaroo commemorated one of its most famous sons.  Sir Henry Parkes was born in poverty in Canley and, after struggling to make a living in the UK, emigrated to the colony of Australia in the early 19th century.  He developed an interest in politics and then, further to that, Australian self-determination.  He was named the "Father of Federation", a strong advocate for Australia's colonies joining up to form their own nation.  Sadly he died in 1896, never seeing it bear fruit, but when the country did become a self-governing federation in 1901 he was lauded.

The kangaroo is a nice way of commemorating a man who, let's be honest, got the hell out of Canley and never came back.  It also replaced a statue that was outside a local primary school named after Sir Henry, and which was smashed to pieces by vandals in the 90s; a slightly less respectful tribute.  

Beyond the station car park there was a long stretch of factory.  Half of it was a pile of rubble and the rest was closed and awaiting demolition.  Canley originally sprang up as a neighbourhood for workers at the Standard Triumph car factory, over the railway line; other industries followed to take advantage of its trained workforce.  In the 1970s, though, the car manufacturers (by then part of British Leyland) closed forever, and the rest of the industry has been trickling away ever since.

I walked down to a dual carriageway, where a formerly brownfield site was being turned into a block of flats.  Most of the Triumph site was converted to retail and low-level factory units and warehouses, though the Standard Triumph Social Club still remains, and there's a logo of the cars on the corner of the road as a memorial.  I descended into a dark underpass, glad of the shielding from the unusually hot May sun, and re-emerged in Canley proper.

Coventry planned Canley as a new forward thinking estate for its residents.  They'd have good, clean, insulated homes, at reasonable rents, close to their employer and with shops and schools to support them.  Work began in the 1930s, and it was the prewar streets I was walking along now.  There was a good sized recreation ground, some newer infill, and then a row of shops that hinted to a different story to this area.


Normally, this row on a pre-war housing estate would be pretty standard.  A local shop.  A hairdresser.  One or two takeaways.  Maybe a tanning salon.  The centrepiece of this row was the Wonton Joe Supermarket, which sounds like something your dad called the local immigrant-run shop when he got told he couldn't use ethnic slurs any more.  It's not what you'd normally expect to see, but the reason for it is tucked away to the south.  In the 1960s, the University of Warwick (not Coventry, a fact that apparently riles the city to this day) was founded on a campus not far away.

This means that what was built as a place for families has quietly started to become infiltrated with students.  Selling council houses off didn't help, as they became private lets, and then they could be filled with half a dozen teenagers with low standards.  Canley's become something it shouldn't have been, a dormitory.

 
I ended up on Charter Avenue, a long impressive artery that marks the estate's southern border.  Two lanes in each direction with plenty of grass and trees, all designed to sweep you and the traffic away and out of the city.  It'd look marvelous with a tram running along it, and, indeed, it's a possible route for Coventry's Very Light Rail, a kind of minibus version of a tram developed by the University of Warwick and currently getting government funding.  It'd be a way of getting some of the advantages of trams without having to pay for them and, as we know, second best is better than nothing.  I suppose.  

Whether the VLC ever makes it out here is another matter.  Obviously, the construction times have slipped, and the funding has shifted, and then the proposed routes covering the whole of the city have shifted to "maybe the airport?" and "probably the university?" and not to where people live.  It reminds me of Merseytram, that massive scheme to give Liverpool three tram lines which was hamstrung by the city's insistence they build it through residential areas without access to transport and ending up in Kirkby town centre rather than a nice sexy airport line for the tourists.  The people who actually need good transport aren't necessarily the ones who are going to get it.

At Mitchell Avenue I crossed a social and architectural dividing line.  Only half the estate was finished when the Second World War hit, so construction was naturally suspended.  Afterwards, there was a need for new buildings, fast.  Instead of brick, the homes on this side of the estate were BISF houses: a steel framed structure developed by the British Iron and Steel Federation.  They could be put up quickly, like a prefab, but much more permanent.

 
 
There was an estate of these houses back in Luton when I was growing up.  They ran along a ridge above Vauxhall Way and their metal construction gave the area the nickname "Tin Town".  I always liked them, partly because their position gave them a commanding view, partly because the houses were all painted different colours.  It gave them a glamour the other council homes in the town didn't have.  I was disappointed to learn that most of them have since been clad to try and improve their energy efficiency and the colours have pretty much vanished, replaced by boring standard beiges.  

It was a similar story here, with white being the standard hue, though some people who'd bought their houses had veered into a cream.  There were long stretches of grass everywhere, the front gardens spilling into their neighbour, and wide verges.  Mature trees shaded me as I walked.  It was all so civilised.

Appearances can be deceptive, however.  As I reached a small chippy, a teenage boy ran out to a car parked in the layby and he took a folded note from the driver.  "How sweet," I thought.  "He's getting the lunch order for his mum."  It was only when he dashed down the alley to the side of the chip shop, into the estate, while the car took off, that I realised: "Oh.  I think that was a drug deal."

I'm afraid I'm a bit naive around drugs.  The thing is, I really like booze.  Booze makes me happy and amused and gives me all the highs I need.  Plus, and this is a very important factor, if I want some alcohol I can wander down any High Street and find some.  I don't have to loiter on a street corner or chat to a pimply youth or buy something that could be baking powder in a plastic bag.  If this makes me a boring old fart with no sense of adventure, so be it.  I will be happily getting toasted over here with a nice pint of lager while you're caning it on amphetamines and we can both have a nice night out.

The point is, I don't spend much time in the company of people doing dodgy deals, and it was a bit of a shock for me.  I walked along the pavement for a while with a sort of stunned mindset.  I'm not anti-drugs - do what you want to do to have a good time - but it was a bit surprising to see it in the middle of a weekday afternoon.

The path beneath my feet was scrawled with chalk instructions: a hopscotch game, then circles with "jump here!" and "hop here!".  It was all sweetly naive, the kind of innocent play that I thought children today didn't do because they were all shooting each other on their X-Boxes.  At the end it asked How much fun was that? and then a scale of 1 to 10.  That's a truly 21st century child, not letting you get away with anything without rating it afterwards.  I didn't partake, incidentally, because nobody needs to see that much blubber bouncing.

Some of the residents had set up seats on the front lawns and were chatting and drinking tea.  I was envious of their drinks.  It really was extremely hot, and I was very exposed on the road.  I'd timed it badly, walking at the point where the day was at its hottest.  The houses became small industrial units again, a road called Falkland Close hinting at their date of construction, and a faded sign on a lamppost promised me hot food from the "Toastbusters".

Tile Hill originally came with a level crossing, but that slowed down the trains en route, so a few years ago it was replaced with a bridge.  That seemed to open up the whole area for new development and now there were houses and flats in what had once been countryside.  I walked down the side road to the station, a convoluted route under the bridge, dog-legging past the car park and back on myself to reach the building.


I'd just missed a train so I settled down and ate my lunch in the cool shaded waiting area.  It was a decent enough station, a proper commuter spot, though slightly ruined by the extensive ramps to give access to the footbridge.  You saved a few quid on lifts, well done; it looks horrible though.

One innovation I'd never seen before was sign language on the next train indicator.  I'd seen those video screens at the larger stations, where a filmed person gave the next platform info, but this was a small computer graphic.   

Her movements were a little jerky, and her look was slightly off, meaning she resembled a Sim.  I was waiting for her to shake her arms above her head in frustration then mime hunger.  (I may have been a little cruel to my Sims).  

With suburbia behind me, it was time to venture into the countryside.  At least I wouldn't see anyone buying coke out there.  Hopefully.

Tuesday, 13 May 2025

How New Train Lines Are Funded

Interior of the Department of Transport.  The Minister sits on a large throne.  

Enter the Chief Executive of a Regional Council.

MINISTER: Speak.

CHIEF EXEC: Hello your honour.  I come from the provinces.  We'd quite like to reopen a railway line into our biggest city.  It used to be a freight line, so all the track is there.  We need five stations and four trains.  It'll cost a billion pounds.  Can I have the money please?

MINISTER: I'll give you a tenner.

CHIEF EXEC: Haha, that's funny.

MINISTER: ?????

CHIEF EXEC:  No, it'll cost a billion pounds.

MINISTER: I'll give you a hundred million.

CHIEF EXEC: We can't build anything for that.

MINISTER: Alright, fifty million.

CHIEF EXEC: That's not how negotiating works.

MINISTER: One hundred million but you can only have two stations and no trains.

CHIEF EXEC: How do we run a railway without trains?

MINISTER: Well that's your problem.

CHIEF EXEC: We need a billion pounds.

MINISTER: Three hundred million, two stations and one train.  You're killing me here.

CHIEF EXEC: If there are only two stations it won't be cost effective.

MINISTER: Alright three.  But none of them can have lifts.

CHIEF EXEC: What about disabled people?

MINISTER: Fuck 'em.

CHIEF EXEC: Five hundred million, three stations, and lifts, and two trains. 

MINISTER: Also the service can't terminate in the city.

CHIEF EXEC: But that's the whole point of it! 

MINISTER: Yeah, but then we have to find room for your train in the big terminus.  It's a whole hassle.  It can stop out on the edge of town and people can change.

CHIEF EXEC: That'll mean it won't be as effective and the passenger numbers will be lower.

MINISTER: It'll be cheaper though.

CHIEF EXEC: Ok. Five hundred million, three stations, and lifts, and two trains.

MINISTER: Sorry, it's four hundred million now.  You'll have to find the last hundred million yourself.

CHIEF EXEC: Why?

MINISTER: Fancied it.

CHIEF EXEC: The Council Tax payers won't like it.

MINISTER: Oh, you can't put up Council Tax.  You'll have to cut something.  Those disabled people are getting lifts now.  Get rid of some of their services.  It all balances out.

CHIEF EXEC: Fine.  

MINISTER: Great doing business with you.

CHIEF EXEC: You do realise I'll be back in five years asking for the rest of the money to finish the project, only it'll cost twice as much by then?

MINISTER: It's alright, I won't be here in five years.

CHIEF EXEC: Also I have this bypass I want to build that costs two billion pounds?

MINISTER: Hand me my rubber stamp.

Friday, 9 May 2025

Mapless

 

I took the train yesterday and I was idly looking at the ads on the walls when something occurred to me.  There are no Merseyrail maps on the 777s.  There are plenty of spaces where there could be one - where there used to be one - but they haven't bothered at all anywhere on here.  And it's not because they're drowning in advertising revenue either, because those "owned by you" posters are still all over the place.

You could argue that having the electronic line diagram means there's no need for them any more, but that's not true.  The diagrams above the door tell you where to change trains for the Northern or Wirral or City lines; they don't tell you what's on those lines.  If you're on a train from New Brighton planning on getting to, say, Cressington, there's no way of planning your route.  Until you reach Central or Moorfields you won't know which direction to get a train in. 

This seems to me to be a basic piece of wayfinding information that should be everywhere.  On top of that, the Merseyrail map is a piece of local iconography that should be shared.  I'm not sure why they're missing; it seems like a really daft thing to overlook.


If they're unwilling to give up the valuable ad slots - though, as I say, they don't seem to be snapped up - then these hatches in the carriage ends seem like a perfect slot for a sticker with the Merseyrail map on it.   A small piece of info to make the traveling experience easier and more comfortable.  You can't have too many maps.

Wednesday, 7 May 2025

Playing With Myself

Look, it's me playing with toys on video again!


Do you ever think you may have too much time on your hands?

Thank you again to anyone who donated to my Ko-fi and made this video possible.  I'm sure you regret it now.

Monday, 14 April 2025

Placemaking

Northampton may not actually be the furthest I've ever traveled for this blog, but it felt like it.  Somewhere like Newcastle or Carlisle or even Worcester feels like a part of the larger whole.  I can draw a thematic link from where I am on Merseyside to there.

Northampton, though?  Northampton felt like I was in The South.  It's not, technically, but it certainly felt London-adjacent.  The train I was on was headed to London; there were destinations like "Milton Keynes" and "Leighton Buzzard" in the announcements.  It felt like I was straying out of my bailiwick, which is odd, considering The South is where I was born and brought up.  Perhaps, after thirty years, I can finally say I'm a Northerner.

It certainly greets you with open arms.  While Rugby's 21st century ticket hall was perfunctory, Northampton was gleefully epic, a redevelopment in 2015 gifting it a proper welcome to the town.  Plenty of light, retail spaces tucked away, clean toilets and information boards everywhere.  It was fantastic.  In some ways, it's too good for a station that only gets four trains an hour - two to New Street, two to Euston. 

It also does amateur station art right.  Regular readers (hello you!) will know of my hatred for kids' drawings as "art" on stations.  It looks amateurish and it's mainly there because it's cheap.  Northampton had art by young people on its platform bridge, but it was final exam pieces from a local college and as such was way more interesting.  I had a pleasing wander down taking in the works.

Then there's the All Aboard To Northampton project, started by delightfully-named station worker Elliott Badger, where boards in the hall have been devoted to collecting tickets to Northampton from every station in the UK.  Started in 2020, it's a wonderful confluence of railway nerdism, public art, and just a genuinely nice thing to do.  I spent a few minutes looking for my local stations on the board.  I'm pleased to report that Birkenhead Central is there, as is Birkenhead Park:

...but the Liverpool side is less well represented:

If you're looking for something to do on a day off and you live by a relatively obscure station, there you go.  Head to Northampton.


You actually won't have a bad time while you're there.  I didn't expect this at all - and perhaps my expectations were lowered after Rugby - but Northampton turned out to be a little gem.  It'll never grace a 1000 Places To See Before You Die list, it'll never challenge other cities for tourist dollars, but it featured a neat, compact town centre, some pleasing buildings and was great to visit.

As you'd expect from a county town, Northampton has a long history going back to the Bronze Age, and its mishmash of architecture came from all points of history.  The beautiful central church, All Saints', dates from the 17th century; there's Victorian grandeur and more modern practicality.  Streets have names like "Swan Yard" and "Derngate".  It was busy with shoppers and, this being the school holidays, teenagers being disproportionately excited at being in town on a weekday.

At the centre of the town is the Market Square, an epic space recently upgraded.  It was a pleasure to stroll round, taking in the new, more permanent stalls.  A water feature to one side featured jets of water shooting in the air, much to the delight of gurgling toddlers, and it felt like a proper central space for the community.  I thought back to the continuing, slow motion tragedy of Birkenhead Market, where its redevelopment has been astonishingly unpopular no matter what the council try, and thought they should send a few people here to find out what can be done.  Never mind sticking traders in a converted Argos - make a place

I wandered for a while, feeling a little guilty.  I'd not had high hopes for Northampton - in fact, it had taken me a tremendous amount of effort to stop saying I was going to Nottingham.  It was, to me, a place that existed, and didn't really make an impression on anyone.  Could you find it on a map?  Could you name something interesting about Northampton?  I know I certainly couldn't.  It seemed like it had spent hundreds of years quietly getting on with being a decent place to live and work and not bothering anyone.

I paused for a pint.  Obviously it wasn't a perfect place; there was a fair amount of down at heel buildings and businesses.  I'd had to dodge a mass of Just Eat cyclists occupying the pavement by McDonalds and KFC.  There was a huge, hideous leisure development, incorporating a cinema and a gym that occupied a whole block and seemed to be pretty much vacant.  

I headed back to the station.  The board that recorded the passing bikes in the cycle lane had ticked off another twenty or so riders.  A pair of mums had a loud, joyous conversation while their kids played around them.  A spread of graffiti on a developer's hoarding was, for some reason, Alice in Wonderland themed - we're all mad here.  It was all good.  

Sunday, 13 April 2025

Rugger Bugger

 

Notoriety shifts your perception.  Because you've heard of somewhere, because it's "famous" for some reason, it gains a prominence it might otherwise not deserve.  I expected Pontefract, for example, to be far more impressive than it actually was, because it was a place I'd heard of.  It was elevated above a hundred other northern towns because something had lodged it in my brain.

I came to Rugby with similarly elevated expectations.  Rugby, the station we've all passed through on our way south on the train.  Rugby, prominently signposted from the motorways.  Rugby, home of the school, home of Tom Brown's Schooldays, home of rugby football, home of Webb Ellis taking the ball in his hands and running with it.  It's Rugby.

 

It gives me no pleasure to report that Rugby's name recognition is about all that it's got going for it.  I left the station and found a tired, beaten down town.  It didn't really exist until the Victorian era.  Rugby School has been here for much longer, since the sixteenth century, but it took a reforming headmaster named Thomas Arnold to transform the institution into one of the first public schools in the nineteenth century.  He did so by effectively privatising it; an establishment set up by local dignitary Lawrence Sheriff to benefit poor local children was slowly dedicated to fee-payers from outside the area.  (Another school, pointedly called the Lawrence Sheriff School, was founded to try and deliver the free education he'd wanted to provide).  

Around the same time, the railways cut across the land to the north of the town, and a junction there swiftly brought industry and new residents.  The town swelled to fill the space between the school and the station and the result is a mainly 19th and 20th century construction that's having problems coping with the 21st century.


My route into town took me past the businesses and homes that you find in station hinterlands.  Ethnic shops, tanning salons, hotels built for builders and salesmen.  A vitamin shop had a large burly plastic man stood outside.  Attempts had been made at regeneration, with new flats slotted inelegantly into the spaces, cul-de-sacs of redbrick turning their back on the main road.  Cut Price Carpets, chemical engineers, tyre shops.  I passed a hardware shop with a window display saying No Bulb Ban Here! (While stocks last) and I was in the town centre.


There is, effectively, a triangle of pedestrianisation at the heart of Rugby, and it's as tired as a thousand other post-industrial centres.  This could've been anywhere UK.  Closed shops turned over to discounters.  A WH Smith (while it lasts).  Coffee shops and burger bars.  An American candy shop as large as anything on Oxford Street.  That meanness, that grimness, that you get in a place where you now need therapy to recover after retail therapy.

How do we solve this?  How do we get our towns back now we've all moved away from shopping in person?  One or two empty shops become four or five and suddenly everything is forlorn, abandoned, unpleasant.  I can only think we need to consolidate and squeeze them together.  Accept the retail isn't coming back, knock them down, build homes for people in their place because we do actually need those.  Do it properly too; we've all seen the bedsits behind cheap double glazing and badly bricked up shop fronts. 

At the end of the road was the school itself, a fortress closed off to the town around it.  It became clear that while Rugby School continues to produce the higher echelons of our society - the Wikipedia page of Old Rugbeians includes bishops, politicians, soldiers and writers - they are not spending their cash outside the hallowed walls.  There may as well be a moat between the town and the school.  I imagine the only interaction between the two institutions is the local bars and clubs being very strict indeed with their ID checks to stop the heir to the Earldom of Farquarson getting steamed on cheap cider in their establishment and attracting the wrath of the headmaster.

At the front is the statue of William Webb Ellis, the boy who apparently invented rugby by picking up a ball and running with it.  This story is, of course, bollocks.  For starters, nobody reported the tale until after Webb Ellis himself was dead - he became a clergyman and died in the South of France in 1872, four years before he got the credit for the game.  Secondly, it's hard to believe that any PE teacher - and particularly a PE teacher at a Victorian public school - would look kindly upon a boy breaking the rules of a sport and would happily suggest they make a new game of it.  We all know PE teachers, nasty little fascists in polyester-nylon mix, ready to bark and scream at the cowering boys in their charge.  

 
 
I actually played rugby in my first year at high school.  There was a science teacher who moonlit as a PE teacher, specifically as a rugby teacher, and he dragged us out onto foggy fields and made us throw the ball around.  I remember two things from this: that the rule of only throwing the ball behind you is bloody stupid, and that the orange rugby shirt that we wore as part of our school uniform was actually quite nice.  The teacher left after first year and we never played rugby again, which was no surprise; my year at school was so nonathletic we couldn't even scrape together enough willing boys to make a football team.  We certainly weren't going to advocate for a sport involving a lot of mud and violence.  (On the other hand, the girls in my year campaigned for the right to play rugby; they didn't actually want to, but they thought it was sexist that they weren't allowed to.  There was no reciprocal campaign by boys who wanted to play netball).
 

I went back into the town, past a Woolworths that still had the sign above, hinting that it'd not been replaced in all the time since it had closed.  I was finding Rugby hard going.  It wasn't nice or fun and the haves of the school ignoring the have nots of the town was all a bit too on the nose.


I ducked down a side street to find the statue of Rupert Brooke, poet and bisexual icon.  He attended Rugby School, the son of a master there, but died in Greece during the First World War.  I'd have got closer but the gentleman on the nearby bench appeared to be in a Special Brew-induced state of agitation so I thought it best to hurry on.

Besides, I wanted to get out of there.  Rugby station has acquired a 21st century ticket hall which is pleasant enough but not exactly distinctive.  It looks like a kit, like a McDonalds restaurant that came off the back of a lorry.

It's far better at the platform level, with nicely restored Victorian buildings and plenty of space to move.  As befits its prominent spot on the West Coast Main Line, Rugby is popular with trainspotters, and I was delighted to see three teenage boys spending their Easter holidays filming cargo trains passing through.  Not every thirteen year old is snorting nitrous oxide and stabbing their way round a shopping precinct.  Most of them are being quite boring and lovely.

There wasn't much to Rugby, and if it didn't have an internationally renowned sport named after it I suspect I wouldn't have felt so let down.  Take away the name and it was basically Crewe with funny shaped balls.  Still, I'm pleased with myself for managing to write a thousand words about it without once mentioning Ben Cohen, Dieux du Stade, or that ITV2 documentary where the rugby lads all got drunk and the cameras filmed them.  Don't pretend you don't know which one I mean.