Thursday, 21 May 2020

Done.

It's over two months since I last went out on the trains.  I'm pretty sure this is the longest I've gone without being on a train since I was about 16. 

Of course, this is the tiniest of problems in the universe.  I am healthy (apart from being overweight and a manic depressive, but, you know, everything's relative).  I have a nice home.  I'm financially comfortable.  People are dying out there, people are in pain, people are suffering and being left behind.  People are losing jobs and livelihoods.  There are more important things than me and a map.

But still.  It's something to sit here, right now, and realise I'll probably never finish visiting all of Birmingham's stations.  That the project is, effectively, dead.  How can I go out on a transport network that's for essential journeys only?  How can I take up a seat on a carriage that's at 30% capacity because of social distancing?  How can I walk from town to town, sweating, breathing, smearing germs and viruses across the country?

Covid-19 is changing everything about the world.  This is going to be a very weird decade compared with our comfortable, soft-hands existences until this point.  Sitting here, I can only see things getting worse for a very long time, and that's really quite upsetting.

Again, I absolutely understand that you, reading this, have probably got things a lot worse.  That you're sitting there thinking "Jesus Christ, you're whining because you don't get to go to Solihull, get over yourself."  Totally correct.  Indulge me for a moment though.  I am having a small moment of sadness and regret.  Let me quietly mourn something I started with a lot of hope, all those years ago.

Maybe things will change someday.  Maybe I'll be gurning under the sign for Kenilworth at some point, an enormous grin clearly visible out the sides of my face mask.  Maybe things will get better.

Until then, this is the end.  Here's as far as I got.  Fingers crossed one day I'll cross some more of these places off the map.


5 comments:

Scyrene said...

Health, comfort, and security are only part of life. Having a purpose, or just something to look forward to is essential too. The current situation has taken away a lot of that for a lot of people, and it's perfectly fine, understandable, natural, and right to feel sadness, anger, to mourn, and feel lost. I completely understand how you feel about this. I hope you are able to return to your travels sooner than you think.

tommy166 said...

Until we bury you, there's still opportunity to complete this. And I know how important it is for you and your mental well-being. Big hugs, Scott xx.

diamond geezer said...


Never say never again.

But well done for not wasting one of your previous visits on Sutton Coldfield.

Andrew Bowden said...

The time will come again, I am sure. Until that day ...

John Freear said...

Agree with all the above comments,we must remain positive for our sanity's sake. Bide your time,Scott,you've years to finish the project. As Sir Tom Moore keeps saying,tomorrow will be a good day.